If asked out on a date I will hesitate When I would like to run screaming for the hills I have a job that I hate I need to escape But I am stuck here ‘till the end of time … Continue reading Fake My Death
Monday, for 10 minutes this morning, I drink my coffee and believe in god, maybe it’s just the Adderall kicking in. I need to pee such a flood I imagine a tiny toilet Noah building a raft of toilet paper … Continue reading Chopped Carrots and Gastric Juices in my Hair
Finally my Captain Jim story is on MP3! IT RHYMES! A story about a man his beer and his boat. Any resemblance to persons, living or drunk, is purely coincidental. The coincidence being they met me and I wrote about them. Continue reading Captain Jim and the Water Witch
A poem about my poor adjustments to adult life. Happy Birthday to me.
Anyone who hasn’t visited my site you’ll rue the day! Continue reading Sunshine in the Middle Ages
You sir, are an idiot. With delusions of grandeur and guaranteed persecution from “the man” keeping you from achieving the greatness that would be your destiny. My Bipolar diagnosis comes with a three year warranty against ice cream failure, troubling realities … Continue reading This is our official breakup poem
The Respect I So Richly Deserve –The Worst Submission Letter Ever Written I am a huge fan of your splendid rag. The genius contained within the pages could only be handpicked by the noblest of literary minds. I have my … Continue reading The Respect I So Richly Deserve –The Worst Submission Letter Ever Written
Mark Shallows, my alter-ego, is stoked about his new temp job. Little Miss Muffet Sat on a Tuffet In the offices of Mr. Grey Along came a spider sat down beside her and said I shall whip you this day! Ms. Muffet was offended but none the less upended He was a billionaire so it was OK Spider fetched whips and an assortment of clips Proceeded to have his way She thought she was set. He had his own jet and bundles of loot But sadness befell her when he proceeded to tell her He was just a janitor in … Continue reading Mr. Grey couldn’t make it. I’m from Manpower.