I imagine what it would be like if I were impervious to the effects of chuckle juice and amphetamines. To walk outside, blazing with Chemical confidence, kicking in the neighbors door, slapping their loud kid, stealing their dog.
Dance until I melt into muscle, feel only the electric hum and buzz of violet electric eels using my spine as a stripper pole.
Sink perfect into a pillowless oblivion, only to wake with the energy of Olympic gods in tablet form. Swimming through air, my gaping mouth dry from snores that sounded as if Caruso had taken a bath in liquid LSD, while making love to Jim Morrison, Grace Slick filming it all on super 8.
Move through the day glimpsing heaven in the music. Stepping through the paintings. Painting my kitchen lemon fresh. Blowing holes in the walls while shooting roaches with a 44 Magnum.
Clutching the garment of the officer, pleading understanding in split infinitives. Raging against my prison walls.
I cannibalize my fellow inmates and not in the way they requested.
Smiling Gut smeared face as I am led away by the team of Ninja psychiatrists, I scream “Don’t fuck with me, no one fuck with me, I’ve killed people, I was in the army I was in your toilet tank, I know your secret ketchup, My hydrocortisone cream goes up to 3 percent and I can cure cancer with my spit so fuck all y’all.
In the bedlam white room with the fake hipster unicorns and gut split napoleons, my mouth open forever teeth rotting eyes glazed as a week old ice market fish, I wait for chemical lovers to return with clockwork precision to sweetly kiss my brain and return me to the kingdom of heaven.
From which I was exiled.
For which I grieve
Fearing no such land exists beyond the mind
The end brings only death
and drugs are all we have.